FINALLY GERTIE
LACIE MINIER
RELEASE DATE: 03.02.18
Cover designed by Inked Designs
Buy Link: http://mybook.to/FinallyGertie
BLURB
My name is Gertie Meyer. At thirty-eight, I'm perfectly happy being single and living the life of a hermit. Social interaction? Loathe it with a thousand passions. It ranks number one on my list of things to avoid at all costs. The walls around my heart give me the quiet protection I desire until they’re shattered one day in a mere blink of an eye. When a man crashes into my life and tries to make me feel again, I realize that I can’t fight change, it’s inevitable. I don't like it, but what choice do I have when he’s helping me accomplish my life’s dream? And why is he stirring something inside I’d kept locked in the dark depths of my soul?
My name is Zeke Bradley. If I was alive, I’d be a forty-year-old man. But no, ever since my life ended eight years ago, my soul has been trapped in limbo. Now I'm the guardian of a woman who is physically alive, but emotionally dead. Helping her become the woman she is meant to be, I might just find the answers to help me move on from my own self-imposed hell. Finally, I’ve discovered a purpose. It shouldn't be too hard, except Gertie has serious issues with change. Leaving me with quite the task to accomplish, having us both face ourselves.
EXCERPT
“Gertie, Look at me.”
Continuing to look out over the waterfall, she tries to ignore me as I stare at the side of her face. I’ll win this stare down. This is too important not to have eye contact for. As I stare, I take in all of her. She is what others may call chubby, but in a proportional way that makes her adorable. She would probably hit me for saying that, but I really like the way she looks. She has full breasts and hips. Heavier thighs than most woman, but they all blend together well. She is short, but would fit perfectly up against my body.
I really wish I could give her a hug and just feel her against me. I crave the ability to touch her, put my arm around her, grab her hand…anything. Affection was something I never had in my lifetime, and something she’s never had in hers. It’s killing me not to touch her. Huh, never notice how much you use a ‘turn of phrase’ until it doesn’t make sense in your current situation.
Gertie finally looks over at me with a big sigh. “What Zeke?”
“A couple things. First, don’t lie to me again. I know you know you’re not happy. Just admit it. There’s no harm in admitting something like that. It’s the first step to solving the problem and making changes to your life. Plus, you told me earlier in previous conversations that you aren’t happy. Don’t mask it. That’s a reflex you do. Stop it, now. Second, you and only you can make yourself happy, Gertie. Don’t rely on anyone else. If you want to be happy, that’s your choice to make. If you do choose it, then you need to make the changes to get there. Choose happy Gertie, please, not this current stagnant state you’re in. Make it so. Third, you’re not boring. To me, you’re everything but boring. You make me laugh. You understand me. You listen to me. You’re beautiful. You need to learn to own that crap and stop being such a mopey wallflower. You’re the one making yourself feel that way.”
Seeing her gear up to fight back, I stop and hold my hand up. “No, this is the time for me to say my piece. Whether you’ll remember it, I don’t know, but it needs said. I sit here and worry about you Gertie. You’ve walled yourself up so much that you’re deliberately keeping people out. You’re pushing them away on purpose. You know how I know that? Because I did the exact same thing. You’ve turned yourself into a hermit when you don’t have to be one. You don’t go out and socialize. These are choices that you’ve made. Then you sit here and blame others for not choosing you. You’re wrong about that. You don’t give people a chance. I did the same thing in my life. Look where it got me. I ended up killing myself to finally have peace and freedom from the heck that was behind my self-built walls. Don’t be like me. You have time to change, Gertie. I didn’t. This type of life hurts. It’s depressing. You need to be more than that. You deserve to be more than that.”
Looking away from me, she crosses her arms. Yeah, she’s mad at me, but tough. I need to get this through her head. “Gertie. Listen to me. I’ve learned many things about myself and my life since I met you. You helped me reconcile why I was the way I was, and why I did what I did. You provoked me to look at the people in my life, and that made me realize a lot of things I didn’t see then. Everything that happened in my life, to me, was because of choices that I, and I alone, made. Or really, it was my lack of choices. Most of the time I just let life go on around me and did nothing at all, which in turn, is a choice. Please don’t do that to yourself. Loosen up a little bit. Try to change even a few small things and chose happy.”
Taking a deep breath, she lets it out in a long sigh while rubbing her eyes. “Zeke, how the hell am I supposed to choose to be happy when the only person, the only thing that I want…and that I know would make me happy, is you? To be here with you. Shit, to be anywhere with you. Yeah, I know we haven’t known each other long. But seriously, that’s how I feel.”
Her arms fall to her sides like she’s giving up. “You soothe my inner craziness…the voices that tell me how yucky I am. You calm the energy around me. You’re the first person…thing…soul, whatever, that I feel completely comfortable to be around, even more so than Quinn. So how? Tell me. Because I can’t figure it out. I’ve got no one to talk to about this except you. And I refuse to talk to you about it because, well, it’s awkward and I don’t like that. I don’t like change. I don’t like feelings. I don’t do uncomfortable. All of this is new and confusing to me, and I don’t know how to deal with it all. So, how do I do it hot shot? How do I deal with any of this? How do I stop building and reinforcing the walls? I don’t have a clue when I’m doing it, or how I even do it? It just happens! I don’t do it on purpose.”
Screaming at me now, her frustration level is high; I can feel her shaking beside me. “Gertie, you did just talk to me about it, and the world didn’t end.”
While rubbing her eyes and taking deep breaths, I know she’s trying to calm down.
“Yeah, only took how many glasses of whatever Quinn and I were drinking to shut down my filter so something could slip out.”
“Gertie, seriously. After all the conversations we’ve had, and all the things I’ve told you about myself, I can’t believe that you don’t feel like you can talk to me about this. You can talk to me about anything, heck, everything. I love our conversations. I could literally sit and listen to you and talk with you for hours without getting bored. How’s that possible? I’ve never met anyone like you before. I never could’ve done that with anyone in my life. Not even Roman. You are fun and adorable, and I feel totally at ease with you. I’ve never said that about anyone else. You’re unique, in a great way. I can’t understand why you don’t realize it.”
Exhaustion is clearly setting in as she lays her head back on the bench, but flashes a smile over at me. The light in her eyes is twinkling again, finally. “Adorable? Really? You need eye glasses up here, dude.”
Dropping my head back, I sigh. This girl is going to drive me crazy. “Gert, when are you going to realize that you’re not an ugly duckling? For the love of everything holy, you’re adorable, and I stand by my eyesight. Can you please take the darn compliment, accept it, own it, and go on? Please? For me.” She chuckles at my exasperation.
“I can’t guarantee anything, but I’ll try. I’m serious Zeke, I have no clue how to change. I don’t know where to start, and honestly, I don’t know if I’m ready or willing to. I’m settled into my life and comfortable for now.”
I was afraid of that.
Who am I? Good question. I’m- a middle-aged girl who has always wanted to bring the stories that float around in my head to life. I love to people watch and tend to come up with a story for every person I see. I’m married and love to drive my husband crazy by singing loudly, and badly, at the top of my lungs in the car. I love animals, especially my two fur-kids, Ginger Lou and Charlie.
I have multiple college degrees that I don’t use while I design playgrounds full-time instead. My desire is to make people laugh daily and to help others in any way I can. I openly admit to having a strange sense of humor and hope that others enjoy it. I love telling stories full of humor and happy endings. I’m a firm believer in three mottos: Be the change you want to see in the world, be careful what you wish for as the Universe will provide it, and Love is Love.
I love coffee more than life, with chocolate coming in a close second. Oh, but I do love my husband and family, too. When I’m not working, reading, or writing, I’m probably dressed in my comfy tie-dye t-shirt playing epic games of fetch with Charlie from my oversized beanbag.
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